Twonkey’s Kingdom: Week 3

Well, as of Week 3, the Olympics are officially finished and there is no excuse for not getting to the show. That’s a message to you, Mo Farrah. Stop running around in circles like a bloody idiot and check out some Twonkey.

With just a few days between the last two shows we’ve seen, they were similar. But, in true Twonkey style, never the same. We finally find out what Butch Battersea looks like – and it aint pretty. I’ve also noticed that the money he asks Deedee Spitz for (long story) is going up exponentionally from show to show. Does he not know there’s a double-dip recession going on? He sang Yabba Yabba like that meant he was one of the good guys.

And an omission: there were no Pub Quiz Answers! What with this, and the earlier dropping of The Pub Guide for Pricks and the absence of a pint on stage, I’m starting to wonder if the set-list is being chosen by Twonkey’s AA sponsor! Sure, one item out means one item in, and it’s all terrific stuff, but should an outsider be exerting such influence? Has he demanded all references to pubs and alcohol be expunged? That’s not right. You don’t mess with another man’s show. Not with his show, mate, not with his show.

One line has slipped through the net though: ‘panicked crocodile piss – if they smell fear, it tastes like beer.’ If this line becomes ‘if they smell fear, it tastes like Tesco’s no-frills low-calorie energy drinks’ then we know who’s to blame.

It’s either that, or Twonkey is just mixing it up, keeping the show fresh. I’ve got 10 knicker says it’s either one or the other.

Anyway, lest we sound like the blog who pick up on absolutely everything, we have to admit we missed something. Something big. Something hilarious. And we missed it half a dozen times. Twonkey, who is chucking good reviews in the basket like Imelda Marcos in Clarke’s, has received a four star review in Time Out (scroll down). And it points out that Twonkey is King… despite being female! Classic, intentional or not. And it went right over our heads, fools that we are.

The show was great as always. And good to speak to a longtime Vickers fan in the queue.

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