Brighton (doesn’t) Rock

The Twonkey’s Kingdom four day debut at the Brighton Fringe Festival is now over. Not only did Paul Vickers bring his show down to the south coast, he was also selling a new CD, Nest of Knickers. In all likelihood, it will disappear from now until August when it’s sold again at the Edinburgh Fringe. It isn’t listed anywhere online as yet – hell, the tracks aren’t even recognised on iTunes. I had to manually type in all the track titles myself like it was still the ‘80’s or summit.

What a week to release a new CD and complete a trilogy though. Last year, Vickers’ Oom-pah! was nothing short of the album of 2011. And it was a year which saw releases from heavyweights such as Radiohead, Coldplay, Kate Bush (twice!), Tori Amos and Tom Waits. Do I honestly think Oom-pah! kicked all their arses. Yes, I do. But Nest of Knickers comes out in the same week as Paul Buchanan’s Mid Air, meaning there’s a fight this time just to be album of the week. And just Scottish album of the week at that. Buchanan, perhaps sensing the showdown, seems hell-bent on saying his album is just a ‘record-ette’ despite his near-peerless track record. Bottle merchant.

And the Twonkey Trilogy concludes the very same weekend that Men In Black 3 is released worldwide. Life’s too short for me to go see MIB3 for the comparison. And I say that as someone who could see it for free. But I did manage to source one MIB3 review from Playboys with Hunchbacks’ official photographer: ‘a truly appalling, lazy piece of crap that could possibly be a lowpoint in threequel history’. No matter how bad it was, it would never have been eligible for the Trilogy Warning list anyway. If you think MIB 1 or 2 is up there with The Empire Strikes Back, The Godfather or The Roman Empire then you need shooting.

Reviews of Twonkey’s Kingdom and Nest of Knickers to come shortly. For now, I’ll just say this about Brighton:

  • I spent £2.40 on a ’99 cone. A seagull flew past and took it right out of my hand. If I was 30 years younger, I’d have cried my eyes out.
  • The Brighton Fringe is not a tenth as exciting as Edinburgh. Crowds were low, and you just couldn’t feel the excitement on the streets as you can up North. And this despite the amazing weather and it being the final weekend.
  • Bar noise was very loud in the venue. At one point Vickers remarked ‘It’s Hi Ho Silver Lining, why do I have to compete with that?’ The possibility of Is This The Way To Amarillo hung over us like a death sentence.

So to hell with Brighton. You know that bit in Superman The Movie where Lex Luthor has the coast nuclear-bombed into the sea as part of a Real Estate scam? Well, due to the gargantuan loss of life, etc, I’d hate to see that happen in reality. But if it absolutely has to, let it happen to Brighton.

At least Twonkey’s Kingdom and Nest of Knickers were fantastic. Bollocks, there goes the suspense.


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